


Chasing Memories

by Psianabel



Series: Blauriam scribbles [4]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Adult Brain, Ancestor Theory, Brain had a family back in Scala, First Kiss, First kiss - second round, M/M, Memory Loss, Regaining Memories, post kh3, their relationship was already a thing back in Daybreak Town
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25361659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psianabel/pseuds/Psianabel
Summary: Between hazy memories and a past both have to come to terms with, Brain and Lauriam don't and can't put their relationship into words. Too many things have happened in between and neither of them know when to push forward. And yet together alone they feel the most comfortabe.But one of them has to speak up, to finally make the first step into a future together. Again.
Relationships: Brain/Lauriam (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Blauriam scribbles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039926
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Chasing Memories

"Brain…?" 

Lauriam's voice was low as he tucked his head lower in an attempt to look at him lying at his side, but it was too dark to make something out. Some mumbling came from him as a response, however too sleepy his voice and Lauriam didn't manage to understand anything.

And he didn't need to. That was more than enough for him. 

He exhaled through his nose as he closed his eyes, squeezing the hand he held Brain's with. 

"Laur- …" 

The call of his name let him open his eyes again, noticing a slight shift closer to him from Brain. He almost touched him by his shoulder with his head, as if he wanted to tuck it close in comfort - 

Memories of the past clashed with the hesitation to overstep his comfort, Lauriam felt Brain's struggle around him. Yet in this sleepy state, lines began to blurr. 

And Lauriam wanted nothing more than to reach out to these static, hazy memories to  _ understand _ \- understand why his heart let him allow to do that, the want and need to give Brain the comfort he sought in him. 

He sighed, angry at himself that he couldn't remember this important fact in his life. The progress was slow,  _ too slow _ for his liking -

Dragging his free hand over his face, he took a deep breath. He couldn't chase clouds like this, not when the answer was right beside him.

Without giving it much thought he turned to the sleeping Brain right at his side, not letting go of the hand he held. He shifted closer, putting his arm around him and tucked his chin over Brain's head.

One day he could remember why he's doing this. For now, he let his heart speak for himself. 

And that was okay.

* * *

"Did we kiss? Back then."

Another night. Another case of confusion why he allowed himself to do that. 

Brain immediately opened his eyes at the question, his heart starting to race. Of course he would ask this one day, Brain was aware. With how Lauriam was slowly starting to remember things, this was inevitable. 

Still. He wasn't prepared. But for all that was good - he couldn't lie to him, not when his memories where still in this hazy state.

"... Yes. We did."

Brain closed his eyes again and exhaled deeply. At least that "secret" was out of the bag. 

He felt Lauriam shift closer and lay his arm above his head, his face turned to him. 

"I see." He hummed. "Makes sense."

A silence overcame them as Brain only listened to Lauriam's breathing beside him. There was this comfort again, a togetherness they were willing to share with one another. Brain was starting to slowly drift away into sleep, but Lauriam started to stroke over Brain's messy hair, his mind a jumble, his heart a mess.

There was still one thing.

He moved his hand down to cup Brain's face, his thumb slowly stroking over his cheek. Brain awoke instantly from this touch, turning to Lauriam in haste.

"What-"

"Can I kiss you? Now?"

Brain stared at him in the darkness of his room. There should be many things he wanted to say, but his mind went blank.

"I-" He hesitated. His world began to spin and a feeling of guilt washed over him - to buy himself some seconds, he took hold on Lauriam's hand on his cheek and held him close, tucking his head lower as he shut his eyes closed. "I … I can't. Not-"

"It's okay." Lauriam interrupted him, stroking his thumb over his hand instead. "I … understand."

It's only been a few months. And Brain never found closure to his previous relationship, his heart still belonging to another - even if he knew the circumstances didn't allow him to return back.

He needed his time. And that was okay.

Lauriam understood and gave him the comfort he needed.

One day it would be different, they both knew that.

* * *

"Brain?"

Brain snapped out of his thoughts at the mention of his name, realizing he still stood in front of the bedroom door he just closed behind him. 

"Sorry, I …" He shook his head as he rubbed over his hair, his eyes landing on Lauriam already waiting to join him again. Like every other night these past weeks. Months? Brain lost track of how long he and Lauriam were already doing this. The only thing he knew that each night it happened, he felt at ease, he felt comfort, able to block out the ache in his heart from the loss he endured. "... I'm good, really."

Lauriam watched him walk closer and sit down on the edge of the bed, his elbows placed on his knees. He was quiet, only a sigh escaping him as Lauriam carefully shifted closer and reached out to him, gently running a hand over Brain's back. 

"Something on your mind?" Lauriam asked him, knowing very well that there was always something Brain was thinking of. When he was quiet and distant, or seemed to be occupied with something else, Lauriam knew that if he asked, Brain would be answering him. 

And Brain formed a small smile on his face, taking a deep breath as he straightened his back and leaned backwards on his hands, looking up onto the dim bedroom ceiling.

"Do you recall what you asked me, ...ah, a bit ago?"

Lauriam stilled his hand on Brain's back and started to think. There were a lot of things they talked about in this quiet togetherness.

"You mean if I could kiss you?"

"Yeah." Brain slumped his shoulders again and sunk back, lifting his legs up onto the bed. "I've been thinking about it ever since." 

_ Ah.  _

Lauriam was silent when he pushed himself up and sat behind Brain, simply watching him in the dim light of his room. There was only the small light from behind on his bedside table, just enough to make out Brain's features. 

"... I told you, I understand if you don't want to." 

"I know, I know." Brain waved his hands in front of him, but turned around then to Lauriam, looking at him. "And I appreciate you for that. … I don't think I was ready for that anyways."

Cross-legged he sat there, fumbling with his hands in his lap, looking down on them as he collected his thoughts. He felt Lauriam's gaze on him, and he knew that there were only a few more steps to take for him to reach out what had been on his mind these past days.

"But, … I've been thinking." Brain continued, pausing again after just a few words. 

Coming into this time wasn't easy. Getting ripped away from his established life in the city he created and watched grow wasn't easy. Having to leave behind the people he cared about and loved - people he called family -

Nothing of that was easy. And no one claimed to think otherwise. 

He couldn't return to them anymore. They have lived their lives, he knew they were able to without him, he knew he wasn't forgotten to them. 

It was okay to take a step forward. They would have wanted he continued his life without shadowing his thoughts. They were forever a part of him, and that was okay.

But this now was a different time and age, and he had still so much time to live. 

"... I'm not  _ there _ anymore, I can't stay forever in the past, no matter how much I wish I could-"

"You want me to kiss you, don't you?" 

Brain looked up to Lauriam at this interruption, his words stuck in his throat and his eyes wide. 

"I … -" 

It was unusual for him to be caught so off guard, he felt embarrassed and tried to look away from Lauriam. But he felt him shift even closer, making Brain look up again as Lauriam cupped his cheek with his hand.

"I remembered our first kiss. Back when I asked you that night." Lauriam started to trace a thumb over his cheek and started to slightly chuckle. "You were hesitating and I had to make it plain obvious to you. We never mentioned that ever again."

Brain felt the heat rise at that old memory, having to snort to shake off the tight feeling in his chest. 

"Out of everything, you remember  _ that. _ " 

He reached for Lauriam's hand on his cheek and took it in his own hands, both of them smiling at their young, past selves. Somehow it felt like they were transported back to that exact same time again, all those many many years ago. 

And without any other word, Brain allowed himself to lean into Lauriam, reaching for his cheek and closed his eyes as their lips touched, feeling his breath on his skin. 

For a moment the time stood still, their hearts beating the same way they did back in Daybreak Town. The gentle gasps, the taste on their lips. Memories flooded both their thoughts and left a nostalgic feeling behind.

They found each other again after millenia, after living lives without the other. But they were together again, and nothing could take that away again.

Things were okay. It was okay. They had each other.

  
  



End file.
